we are what we think we are. we are who we think we are. so who stops us from painting our world the way we wish to see it? who's stopping me....ME! i'm the one holding back. feeding my personal hell with fears n pain. i have so much to be thankful for, so much brightness n happiness around me. yet there are so many excuses to fuel the fires of my personal hell. and hell is personal...it sure is!
denial supersedes all else in this horrid space. denial of life, denial of love, denial of all things beautiful. denial of self esteem, self love, denial of the self indeed.
i exist...where i want to exist, when i want to exist n how i wish to exist. u will see me as i see me. but i don't see me too well, so how can u?
i long to break out of this bubble. i long to give back all the love i get everyday from the one who loves me and understands me and is the only one who can see thru my personal hell n recognise me...the real me. my soulmate...i know he will always be by my side, guide me, catch me when i fall, forgive my sins, show me what he sees when he sees me, show me the wonders of life. how i long to return that love in equal measure...but denial seems to be winning all the time.
today i shall put myself to the task...(for want of a better word)...to see my world as i wish to see it, to paint it with the colours i love, to paint my dreams into reality, to stop denying the love that is so graciously given to me, to believe in my thoughts, to harness the power of my positive thoughts, to love my mind, to give back the love with all my heart...
and why not?!
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